Life Changes + Unemployment

A bit of a deviation from my usual blog content. No communication advice or templates or how-to’s in this blog post. 

I’m currently writing this update in the dark, in the rocking chair, in my son’s nursery with the roars of his sound machine next to me. He’s already on his second nap of the morning (he only clocks a solid 28 minute naps these days) and I’ve already nursed him 5 times this morning. I know the exact number of minutes I’ve nursed, how long he naps, and how many times I’m changing his diaper a day because I’m the neurotic mom who tracks everything in the app (IYKYK). 

In between recovering from childbirth, navigating the incredibly rocky waters of postpartum, and learning how to be a mom to two little babies, I’ve had a huge and unforeseen shift in my career – while on maternity leave. 

I’m unemployed. And it wasn’t planned. 

And if you’re wondering “What happened…? Did I miss a chapter?” Same…

This update is an opportunity for me to word dump and process everything I’ve been through in the last 2 weeks. It’s going to be messy, confusing, and a bit unsettling. Similar to how I’ve been feeling in real life. 

Here it goes... 

I was supposed to report back to work on Monday, October 23rd. The problem? My son isn’t off a daycare waitlist until December. 

Why not until December? Well, for two reasons - 

1. My original report back to work date was in November. With the Thanksgiving holiday, we felt comfortable putting him on a Nov/Dec waitlist start date at the daycare our daughter goes to. But he was born early… And that changed my return to work date.

2. The daycare our daughter goes to (and the 3 other daycares I had him on a waitlist for) are short staffed with high demand. So waitlists are stalled. 

He was born early and daycare waitlists are stalled. 

I was supposed to report back to work on Monday, October 23rd but we didn’t have childcare coverage full time until December 1st. I had a gap I needed to solve for. So I asked my employer for an extra 30 days of unpaid time to extend my leave. 

That request was denied… 

I was presented, by my employer, to report back to work at full capacity or consider it my resignation. 

I weighed my options. The options of… 

1. Returning to work full time, in a remote, revenue generating, client facing role, having 20+ meetings a week, while navigating the nap schedule and feeding demands of a newborn

2. Or evaluating the “equitable separation package” they offered me in tandem with my resignation 

Besides the fact I was shocked these were my only options in this situation, what was even more befuddling to me was that my employer only offered 6 weeks of pay and benefits as the “equitable separation package”.

…To a woman still on maternity leave. 

If you do the math (and here’s the real kicker) 6 weeks of pay gets me through the end of November. Which is coincidentally the exact amount of time I asked for UNPAID to return to work. Does it make sense to you?

At this point, it was clear to me the people I worked for didn’t want me to return to work. Who knows if they have had any intent on having me return from maternity leave. It was clear that my employer did not care about me as a person or my livelihood as a working mom. And I needed to run. Fast.

On Monday, October 23rd, instead of returning to my job, I signed resignation papers that ended my employment. I didn’t even negotiate the severance because as a new mom and as a new mom navigating the rocky waters of postpartum — I haven’t been in the headspace to do so.

So here I am, a newly unemployed mom of 2. 

- As someone who finds her identity nestled in the hustle of Corporate America, I’m forced to re-evaluate my values, priorities, and my identity. 

- As someone who had no idea what being a new mom of TWO littles would require, I’m faced with the reality of needing to provide for my babies while also needing to set an example for them in every aspect of my life. 

- As someone who calls herself a ‘corprenuer’, I’m now without the corporate. 

So where do I go from here? 

As an open journal to myself, and to you, I’ll be transparent on the stressful thoughts I’ve been swimming through. 

“I’m a financial burden on my family”

“Thank goodness my husband has work”

“Can we afford daycare? And for how much longer?”

“Thank goodness we have a savings to tap into in times like these”

“How long can our savings really last us?”

“Will I be able to find a new role in this market?”

“I should take this time to really re-evaluate my next career move”

“It’s time to go all in on myself and entrepreneurship”

“How can I go all in on myself when I have daycare to pay for?”

“What about insurance?”

“Breathe and pray” 

Navigating the financial obligations of adulthood are heavy. So so heavy. Then to couple that with finding income that won’t have you compromising your priorities or your values? Good freaking luck. 

But that’s the exact journey I find myself on. Doubling down on my priorities – my family, my faith, and my health – while working to discover where I can build financial freedom and stability for my family. 

It’s scary. But it’s also… an exciting challenge? 

I’m going to be doubling down on Career Civility and betting on myself. Because if I can sell millions of dollars of other people’s ideas and products, I can start selling my own damn ideas and products. 

Here’s what my goals are for Career Civility -  

1. I will be re-launching Email To Success. My signature online course to help you be a more effective communicator when writing emails in 2023. Because email is no longer a shorthand version of communication. Bye bye Y2K email and hello modern day email communication 

2. I’m going on a podcast tour. I’ll be learning how to do my own PR so I can start learning how to use my voice to tell my story – not only about improving communication in the workplace but about the experiences of being a woman and a working moms in the workplace

3. I’ll be accepting new clients for communication consulting and workshops. If you’re looking for a keynote speaker/facilitator for your next team retreat, conference, or continued education – I’m here to help!

4. New products and downloads will be available in the Career Civility Shop. Think: more email templates, more communication guides, and additional resources to help make your work life easier. 

And my corporate goals? Well, here’s what I’m looking for - 

• A company who values working moms and a company that can prove their equitable business practices

• A place where my ideas are valued, listened to, and acted upon

• A manager who genuinely cares about my professional and personal development #radicalcandor

• A competent and diverse leadership teams who leads from the front

• A role that provides financial stability and growth

• A place to do good work with good people

The accomplishments and skill sets I can contribute - 

• Revenue generation. I’ve managed, renewed and upsold books of business worth $2 million AAR. I’ve also managed, forecasted, and grown business units worth $1+ million AAR. 

• Selling SaaS products, advertising products, staffing services, and leadership training services

• Building and delivering sales trainings, DEI trainings, and communications trainings

• Coaching business owners + leaders how to communicate effectively in the workplace

• Designing and facilitating online digital courses, keynote speeches, and bespoke communication trainings

• Resolving conflict + improving culture through effective communication

• Delivering strong program and project management to both internal and external stakeholders  

• And I’ve built a full cycle sales and prospecting process through prospecting, pitching, closing + managing community relationships

I’ve been in tech the last couple of years but I am opening up my search into different industries. Higher education, consumer goods, PR, consulting and beyond.

Going through the hell of being asked to resign because I didn’t have adequate childcare made me realize one thing… 

If my daughter were to ever experience a toxic workplace, like I have, I’d tell her to get the hell out. Life is too short to put up with people who don’t value you. 

Now it’s time for me to take my own advice and set an example for her. 

And that’s why the work I do at Career Civility is so important. I’m creating a community inside Career Civility so we can make the workplace a better place for those who come after us. So that we can share our stories and help one another. Because when my daughter and my son enter the workforce, they better be treated with dignity, compassion and civility. And get paid fairly for it too. 

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading my open journal entry to myself. 

Come November 1st, I’m officially going to work for myself. I’m working to build better, more helpful products for Career Civility. And I’m working on finding a new corporate role that energizes me, provides financial stability and values my contributions.