Receiving Feedback: How to Receive and Apply Feedback Effectively

May 2

One Google search of “how to give feedback” and it’ll give you immediate tips, articles, and discussion threads on ideas for giving feedback effectively.

But that’s only one side of the coin, what about receiving feedback? Because receiving feedback requires just as much emotional intelligence, tact, and effective communication skills as giving feedback.

Receiving feedback in the workplace can be uncomfortable, awkward, and a bit tricky. Because there are a multitude of different scenarios in which feedback can be given – whether it is valid or unwarranted, sought after or blindsiding – being on the receiving end of a feedback conversation can be vulnerable.

I’ll never forget an time where I was asked to go into a conference room at work for a “back room conversation”. I didn’t know why I was being “pulled aside” but I distinctly remember feeling uncomfortable being asked to follow him into the conference room for the conversation.

It was myself and the person delivering the feedback in the room sitting at a 10+ person conference room table. The lights didn’t even go on when we stepped into the room.

“You’re abrasive with your reps”

That was the feedback. No lead up, no context, no examples, no lights. Just harsh feedback.

And I’ll never forget that conversation. I cried. And I wish I would have known how to handle feedback – both warranted and unwarranted – so that I didn’t let myself be caught off guard by receiving harsh feedback. My goal with this blog post is to share some tips + advice so if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are receiving feedback, you feel confident and prepared to effectively communicate throughout the conversation.

3 tips to effectively receive feedback -

Breathe + listen

Breathing is a great tool to call upon in tense or uncomfortable conversations at work. By taking a moment to focus on your breath it allows you the opportunity to a) gather your thoughts, b) regulate your nervous system and c) force space in the conversation for silence and retrospection

2. Ask clarifying questions

When receiving feedback, it is likely going to catch you off your game. Engaging in a conversation that exposes weaknesses and areas of improvement are never easy (even when you ask for the advice!) so below are some questions to keep in your back pocket to help keep the conversation productive.

“Can you help me understand where this is coming from?”

“Do you have specific examples you can share with me?”

“Here is an example of where I think I did a good job, what are your thoughts?”

3. Seek a go forward plan

Decide on actionable steps that can be followed up on. Seeking and creating a go forward plan will move the conversation forward and into a productive state. Below are a couple different scenarios with scripts offering how to propose a go forward plan.

Did you agree with the feedback?

“Feedback is never easy to give so I appreciate you taking the time to share this with me. How do you suggest we move forward from here?”

Did you specifically ask for the feedback?

“Thank you for taking the time to give feedback on my performance. I think it would make sense for us to think about [….] Moving forward”

Were you totally blindsided by the feedback?

“I’ll take some time to think about this feedback, how I feel about it, and potentially incorporating it moving forward”

If you work in a hostile work environment, please document all feedback given. Whether that is during the meeting or immediately after the meeting, be sure to document the date and time the feedback took place, who was involved and the content shared.

Giving and receiving feedback is a crucial part of professional development and collaboration in the workplace. It might be uncomfortable but it doesn’t have to be unprofessional or unproductive. Use these tips next time you’re in a feedback conversation.