How To Work With a Toxic Leader
Good leadership = good communication skills. A stance I will firmly take no matter the situation.
It is fascinating to me how many “leaders” or managers don't practice effective communication and nor do they realize how counterproductive it can be to their team and the organization at large to have bad communication. Because of this, it puts an incredible amount of pressure on us (the employees) to lead by example. Situations such as -
When managers constantly show up late (or don't show up at all) to 1:1 meetings
When managers are unorganized and send last minute requests (via short and cold communication)
When superiors are difficult to work with just because of their title
Unclear expectations OR unrealistic expectations
In each of these situations, if a leader exhibits poor communication skills, they won't understand the impact of their actions. And it leaves you feeling disrespected, undervalued, and disconnected from your work.
Sounds like a recipe for a toxic workplace if you ask me.
While we can't fire our managers for their poor communication skills, I'm here to help you come to work (and come into each interaction) with a sense of confidence and a toolbox of communication skills to combat toxic leadership.
Here's how –
Define it – What exactly is happening in this workplace scenario? Can you uncover the real underlying problem versus the noise and personal opinions/feelings towards the person?
Tip - start writing things down. This will help you define the problems amongst the noise
Set boundaries - When implementing personal boundaries in the workplace, shift your mindset from “I can't/won't do that” to “I will focus on what is most priority at this point in time”. Once you understand what is most priority for your time and efforts, boundaries won't seem as “rigid” and tough to work with. From there, stick to the boundary by using consistent communication (examples below)
Control what you can control - Toxic leaders are unpredictable. You don't know what they are bringing to work that day or what will set them off. Focus on your priorities and don't let their tangents derail your focus.
Amongst the difficult situations you may be facing with bad bosses, below are specific scripts and examples you can use depending on the situation -
“Confirming receipt of this email/text/slack/phone call and will be able to respond/action on it by xx day”
“Hey boss, texting isn't a productive mode of communication for me. When anything is to do with work, email me so I can take action appropriately”
“Hey boss, I am currently working on xyz. Is this ask time sensitive? If so, it'll help me understand where I need to prioritize time and effort”
“Hey boss, can you help me understand what is most priority at this point in time so I can ensure I am being productive towards that goal?”
Working with a bad leader is a drain on our energy. The goal of these communication scripts is to help center the task at hand, as opposed to the mood/temperament/distraction a bad leader can bring into the room at any point in time.
