Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea…

This post is hard to write because I’m writing about the fact that not everyone will like the way you communicate.

I am on a mission to implement Civil Communication - a more productive means of communicating - and yet, everyone has different communication styles.

This leaves room for misinterpretation, conflict, and can be really freaking hard trying to communicate.

As a communication professional (and a sales professional), I literally make a living by pleasing people. So if not everyone likes me, how do I make $$$?

In my sales role, I have a book of over 150 accounts that I am working diligently to build relationships with, prove performance, and expand our partnership. There are clients that I can email, text, or even have a casual lunch with whenever I am in town. And then…. there are clients who will only write me back one word or one sentence emails - if they choose to respond at all.

In fact, I remember one client who provided feedback in a survey about me as their account manager and I was rated a ZERO. I don’t even think the survey has zero as an option - the typical scale is 1-4. So when I saw that feedback I maybe cried a little at my desk (haha) and then brought in reinforcements to help me mend the relationship with this client.

The funny (and also soul crushing) aspect of these relationships is that when I had my manager jump into the situation, the client was THRILLED to work with them. My manager was able to bring a new perspective and a different communication style that was, in fact, a more productive way to communicate and work with the client.

The entire dynamic changed. All because my client spoke to someone who is not me.

WHY?

Personally, it drives me insane.

Professionally, this is where growth and the opportunity for analysis in the workplace arises.

Communication, at its core, is the act of sending and receiving messages - both verbally and non-verbally.

When I am working with clients who do not like my tone, my demeanor, or what I have to say - I take it personally.

It is hard to step back and realize that advice from a 90’s comedy is best suited for this situation… there are literally different strokes for different folks.

As Toegel and Baroux (2016) discuss, there are multiple communication styles and each of them have their own dimensions. The possibilities of misunderstanding (and not getting along) are endless.

It is important to note that NO there is not a secret ingredient to make people like you. There is only awareness and a continued practice of improving your communication skills so while everyone may not agree on the topic at hand, you can civilly engage in a conversation that does not deplete the spirits of the people involved.

As a communications professional it is my job to help you navigate the murky waters of the various dimensions of communication styles, to guide you through uncomfortable conversations and to increase the overall relational culture of teams in the workplace.

References

Toegel, G. Barsoux, J.L. (2016, May 16). How to Preempt Team Conflict. Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2016/06/how-to-preempt-team-conflict