Communicating Maternity Leave - a little help to have the conversations you aren’t prepared for
Every week I ask the Career Civility community on Instagram what emails and situations I can help them with in the workplace. Despite not being an expert in navigating legal and personnel situations in the workplace, a handful of women turn to my page to ask the vulnerable questions around family planning. Take a look at some of the questions asked…
“At what point in the interview process should you tell a potential employer you are pregnant?”
“Heard 2nd hand my boss commented that 3 months is long for my mat leave. Should I confront him/HR?”
“Pregnant and want to discuss future work status - such as part time, job sharing, etc. How to go about this?”
“I’m 20 weeks pregnant. If/when/how to let a potential employer [that I’m interviewing with] know that I’m pregnant?”
“Old boss asked me to join his 2 employee startup. Planning to have a baby in the next year. Do I owe him disclosure about my family plans / how do I ask about maternity leave?”
Mamas… I feel you so deeply. The way that family planning is all consuming of every thought and then on top of worrying about fertility, a healthy pregnancy, a healthy labor and delivery, and providing for your new babies financially, you are burdened with a completely unsupportive work environment.
Even the most well meaning managers and organizations can unknowingly put added pressure on moms and expecting moms during pregnancy and upon returning to work.
Before I provide a couple avenues to help you communicate your maternity leave to your manager, clients, and colleagues, I want to offer some expert resources to turn to in the event you do not know how to navigate the topic of motherhood in the workplace.
Check with your HR department. Ask them for an updated version of the company policies. This will allow you to review the parental leave and pay policies on your own before having “the talk” with HR.
The Mama Attorney. Daphne Delvaux is the legal brain behind The Mama Attorney and she is an advocate for parental rights in the workplace. Depending on which state you reside in, her knowledge is curated to each state accordingly.
Parentaly. Parentaly is an organization dedicated to helping companies implement parental leave policies. If you organization does not have one in place already, Parentaly may be a helpful place to start.
The Fifth Trimester. A resource to help you transition back to work after leave.
While we may not have a village helping us navigate what it means to be a “Career Mama”, know that you DO have help. And we will crowdsource it together. You’ve got a Career Mama friend in me and I’m here to help.
Ok, onto the communication templates to help you communicate maternity leave in the workplace*
When you need to ask for the maternity leave policy without telling them you’re pregnant yet -
“Hey HR department, will you please send me an updated copy of the company policies? Appreciate your help in advance!”
When you’re ready to tell your boss/manager/supervisor you are pregnant -
Here’s how to ask for the meeting -
“Hey boss/HR, any chance I could grab 10-15 minutes on your calendar later this week or next? Nothing pressing but figured it would be best to chat live when you have a minute”
2. What to say in the meeting -
That you are expecting
The approximate date of when you are due
How you will continue to deliver on the work needed
Any potential health related issues that may impact your productivity / hours
Reiterate your commitment to the business
Listen… the reality is that while having babies is a blessing and reproduction is necessary to keep our capitalistic society humming, pregnancy is seen as a threat to the productivity (and thus, profit) of business. So even when you are communicating some of the best news in the entire world, you will still need to play the corporate game.
Pay attention to the reaction as that will likely inform you how you need to navigate the remainder of your pregnancy.
3. What to do after the meeting -
Send an email to both HR and your boss. Recap everything discussed in the meeting. Put it in writing. What you said, what your boss said. You need a paper trail so you know the exact day you disclosed this information.
When you need to remind your team your due date is fast approaching -
Create a working document. Within this document, include the following: the dates you will be out, the projects currently in flight, any potential due dates, as well as any outstanding tasks and who owns them. By creating a working document, it communicates transparency and accountability while you are out.
“Hey team, as a reminder, I will be heading out on parental leave starting in xx month. I have created this document to keep track of all tasks in flight so there is complete transparency while I am out.”
When you need an out of office template for when you go on maternity leave -
Subject - Parental leave - be back in the Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer
Body -
“Thanks for your email. I am currently out of the office on maternity leave. I am expected to return (insert month here). The rest of the [abc company] team is here to help in my absence. Please reach out to xx@abc.com for inquires related to abc. For everything else, please reach out to yy@abc.com. I look forward to working with you when I return!”
When you’re pregnant and interviewing -
Do what you feel is most authentic to yourself. Personally, I choose to tell employers that family is a priority for me. But I will not tell them my specific family planning goals. I would recommend you not disclose you are pregnant during interviews. Wait at least until the offer letter is signed and ideally until you are a) physically showing your pregnancy or b) are successfully onboarded (after 30 - 60 days).
If you feel you are being treated differently at work after disclosing a pregnancy -
Document EVERYTHING with dates, details, and screenshots. Then reach out to The Mama Attorney for more guidance.
*Please keep in mind that none of this is legal advice and each situation is very nuanced depending on the organization, the company policies, your state, your job, and your specific situation. It is unfortunate that we may need legal help when broaching the topic of motherhood in the workplace but so is the environment we work in.
What other situations have you experienced in the workplace as a Career Mom?
