Essential Communication Skill - Clarifying
Let’s normalize using clarification as a tool in your communication toolbox.
Picture this –
You’re in a conference room with a bunch of people talking over each other, swiveling in their chairs, typing on their computers and discussing how to best move forward with a big client. There has been some friction on the account and the meeting was called to create a plan of action to present to the client to ensure seamless support and results are delivered from here on out. The meeting time comes to and end, everyone stands up, grabs their computers, and is off to the next meeting.
As you’re walking back to your desk you’re thinking “ok… what was the result of that meeting? Do we have a solution for the client? And what’s my exact role in this?”
Picture this –
You’re cc’d on an email with 5 other people and the email is discussing project ideas, deadlines, and next steps. One person is spearheading the conversation and cc’ing additional people to “make sure everyone is on the same page”. But the email chain gets convoluted with other people replying with side comments, asking questions on emails from days ago, and that one inevitable guy replying with a random GIF that adds absolutely no value to the email exchanges.
And you’re reading these emails thinking “wtf am I supposed to be doing with this email? I’ll save this for later”
It’s wild how much we operate in ambiguity in the workplace. Because most people we work with – clients, coworkers and managers included – don’t have the necessary skills to communicate clearly and explicitly, it is on us to take responsibility for improving the communication practices in the workplace.
A tactical way to improve the communication of others around us is to start clarifying.
It’s uncomfortable, because clarifying can walk a fine line of passive aggressive communication but if we are coming from a place of sincere intention and curiosity, clarification can improve communication by leaps and bounds.
The more we can practice intentionally speaking up and asking earnest clarifying questions in meetings – and on emails we are cc’d on – the more likely we are to be less stressed in our jobs. Because ambiguity causes confusion, and confusion causes mistakes and mistakes cause stress.
Clarification = less stress.
Here are 6 ways to use clarifying communication in the workplace -
Repeat back what is being communicated to you
Use phrases such as “If I’m understanding correctly…”
Take a moment to repeat back what is being said to you
Ask “Is that right?”
Before moving onto topics in meetings ask, “What I’m hearing is…”
In confusing emails, state “To confirm…”
One of the best things that came from my husband and I both working from home in 2020 was being able to listen to how someone else communicates in business. Especially being able to listen to and learn from how a male communicates in various professional situations – with direct reports, with leaders from across the globe, and with his own boss.
As a woman, I always thought that if I took a moment to ask a clarifying question, it would seem as if I didn’t understand. As if I wasn’t smart enough to be in the room. As if my intelligence would be questioned.
But when listening to my husband, I learned that clarification was a huge asset to his communication skill set. And he wasn’t seen as lesser in the workplace. If anything, it positioned him as an effective listener who could build relationships with different people across the globe.
Clarification works.
Figure out a way to integrate clarifying communication into your own communication style and watch how expectations, emails, and meetings become more clear.
