Quitting 101 - How To Quit Your Job
Ready to quit your job? Congrats! Whether you have just accepted a new opportunity, you are deciding to focus on your family, or you are just fed up and can’t take it anymore, quitting is a HUGE milestone in your career. The conversations are never easy, there are nerves, it feels like everything is at stake, and no one prepares you to have these tough conversations. There is no playbook for how to quit your job. And if you have had experiences similar to mine, you have experienced some pretty ugly conversations regarding quitting.
I’ve had a manager straight up tell me “no you can’t quit”. It was an hour long back room conversation filled with tears, a lot of emotion, and it involved dissecting every reason why I’m putting in my notice. And the worst part? After I mustered up the confidence to have the quitting conversation, she didn’t even let me quit. She made me go home, sit with it, and call her back the next day to give her my final decision. Spoiler, it was still the same. I needed to move onto a new opportunity. But the entire conversation made me feel like I was doing something wrong.
On the other side of the coin, I’ve also experienced quitting conversations with complete apathy. It was “ok, thanks, turn in your computer”. And it felt completely devastating because it made me feel like all of the time and work I gave to the company wasn’t valued. It made me feel like I wasn’t valued.
I don’t want you to have these experiences when you are giving your notice. I want you to go into these conversations prepared, confident, and standing strong in your power to communicate the best decision for you and your career. I am going to give you the tools to stand strong in your decision to quit, have the tough conversation, and move on with dignity and respect.
4 steps to follow when you want to quit your job:
Gather all necessary information
This is an opportunity for you to document the WHY behind this decision. Deciding to quit is an emotional rollercoaster that has likely been building over time. Take some time to sit down and write down all the reasons that are playing into this decision.
→ What is it about the new opportunity that is important to you at this point in your life?
→ Where has the organization (or your manager) failed you?
→ What are your career goals? How has this job helped you get there? How has it fallen short?
→ Are there any situations that have helped you make this decision?
While you may not be communicating ALL of this information in your resignation meeting, it is helpful to see everything written down so you can start to separate the emotion from the logic. Further, taking the time to recognize all of the reasons will help you be more prepared in the conversation.
2. Request a resignation meeting
Request a meeting in an immediate timeframe. Without making it urgent (this will cause unnecessary worry and we don't need any more fire drills in the workplace), ask for a meeting the next day – or at least within the same business week depending on HR and/or your manager's schedule availability. Be transparent without giving your notice via email. Let HR/your manager know you have updates to provide and they would best be discussed in person (or via video meeting).
Don't worry if they push back. It's natural for them to ask "why?". Use this as an opportunity to double down on transparency. Be clear in that this will be a meeting to discuss your career goals and next steps.
It can look like this,
Subject line - Meeting Tomorrow?
Body -
“Hey boss,
Before the end of the week sneaks up on us, I'm wondering if you have some time tomorrow for us to chat.
I have some updates I want to share with you and I think it's best suited for an in person (or a remote meeting depending on your schedule) when you're available.
If you send over some times that work for you, I'll coordinate an invite.
Appreciate your time in advance on this!
Xx”
And when the inevitable “what’s this meeting about?” response lands in your inbox… here’s how you can effectively respond -
“Hey boss,
Totally fair question. I like to be prepared walking into meetings too. The nature of the meeting has to do with my career goals and next steps.
Talk soon,
xx”
3. Communicate
Take the initiative when it comes to resigning. Be the one to coordinate availability, send a calendar invite, book a conference room if necessary, and be the one to run the meeting.
When in the meeting (whether virtually or in person) be sure to follow these 3 guidelines-
State the positives
Move onto the explanation
Give appreciation
State the positives. Even if the workplace was toxic and you can't wait to hightail it out of there, challenge yourself to think of the skillsets you acquired during your time at the organization. Through challenge comes growth. Elaborate on the growth as that is always a positive.
Move onto the explanation. Try to be as transparent as you feel safe to do so. If you are comfortable and able to share the impetus behind the decision and where the next move will take you, it will leave your manager with less questions and will preserve the trust in your working relationship.
And lastly, give appreciation. Appreciation for the time they gave you in this conversation. Appreciation for the support they may have given you during your time in your role. Think of 1-2 things you can communicate appreciation towards.
This daunting conversation, in totality, can look like this,
“Hey xx, if I haven't told you recently, I've really enjoyed working at XYZ company. Being here has taught me, a, b and c and without that opportunity to learn, I wouldn't be in the position I am today. That said, another opportunity came my way that I can't pass up. This new role will allow me to XYZ and I decided that this move will be best for me/my family/my career. I want you to know how grateful I am for all your support. My last day will be XYZ. What else do you need from me at this time to ensure this transition is as smooth + successful as possible?”
4. Send a follow up email
Put the conversation you just had in writing. Include the news (that you are quitting), the date of your last day, and anything you will be working on in transition. Be sure to include any outstanding questions that need to be addressed too, such as who will be stepping into your role during the transition.
Here is an email template to use,
Subject - [NAME]’s last day, [insert date here]
Body -
“Hey xx, thanks for your time today. I know those conversations are never easy and I appreciate the support you lent to me. As a recap, I will be leaving xyz company on xyz date. I will work to accomplish a, b, and c prior to my transition. What else do you need from me at this time?”
As always, the goal of Career Civility is to help you communicate more effectively in the workplace — even in tough conversations. And quitting is one of the toughest conversations you will most likely experience in your career. Congrats on the new role and good luck 😊
