Gaslighting in the Workplace
How do you know if you are being gaslighted in the workplace?
Gaslighting - The act of psychologically manipulating someone into believing they are in the wrong
Gaslighting can be sneaky and hard to identify and it becomes all the more complicated when it’s in the workplace. The workplace is comprised of hierarchies, power dynamics, job responsibilities and money. It’s hard to pinpoint whether gaslighting is occurring because: a) you’re either too busy to fight it or b) because you don’t want to question authority.
Either way, it can be helpful to be cognizant of gaslighting occurring in the workplace. And addressing it using effective communication can improve morale, culture, and productivity.
You might be experiencing gaslighting if -
You feel overwhelmed by the amount of work on your plate but more keeps being added to it
You are overqualified for the work you are doing
You're afraid to ask for help because you don't want to seem incapable
Goals are constantly being changed
You are constantly told “thanks for being flexible” or “we just need to get through this change” or “it's simple" or “all you need to do is…”
These are all tricky situations. Because on one hand, aren't you getting paid to be doing all this work? But on the other hand, how much of the work is actually attainable (and sustainable)?
While the conversation around toxic corporate culture, toxic positivity, and manipulation is MUCH larger, the goal with this article is to help you find solace in knowing that even when you feel taken advantage of or gaslighted by your employer, you can rely on a communication tool in your toolbox to push back (even a little).
Try this format,
Recap the goal
Give your perspective on the situation
Ask how to improve
It might look like this,
“Hey xx, I'm in line with our goal of improving the customer onboarding process. Right now, with these two other tasks added to my plate, I'm a little skeptical of my ability to execute everything successfully. How do you think we'd be able to accomplish this while not overloading on projects/to dos?”
Or this,
“Hey xx, I understand we are trying to triple our client load this quarter. With the current process, it makes it hard to focus on acquisition AND customer support. What do you think we can do to make this successful?”
Gaslighting is hard to recognize and can be even harder to combat — especially when money is involved. It requires understanding power dynamics, it takes time to understand exactly what needs to be solved (and thus, communicated) and it takes a civil conversation.
Career Civility is here to help change the conversation in the workplace. Even the tough ones.
As always, reach out if and when help is needed in your own workplace.
